presents
excerpts from
ISBN 0-9778140-0-9
326 pages, 68 photographs.
....These past fifteen years have brought a lifetime of ups
and downs. While I never expected my caregiving
experience to last nearly so long, nor to affect me so long
after it was over, I have no regrets. I have found this
period to be life-defining, and part of a destiny I had never
imagined.
Like many other primary and solitary caregivers, I first
experienced anger and resentment with some siblings who
abandoned the task at hand and expressed very negative
responses. However, I have come to see that matter in an
entirely new light. If my siblings had been involved in
Mother’s care, I would not have gained the satisfaction of
completing such a huge task. Nor would I have been able
to spend so much time with Mother and help her through
the horrors of the disease. Nor would I have been able to
experience the degree of unconditional love which grew so
much between us during the caregiving process.
In the end, I look back and see the battlefields we crossed,
one after another. Through the maze and stress of medical,
legal and other institutional issues, as well as the slings and
arrows of the ever-ravaging Alzheimer’s, we survived and
kept our souls intact. All those trying issues were like a
series of military campaigns that had to be confronted
before we made it through the war. Perhaps it was all just
meant to be.
I thank God for the silent help and strength which aided
our journey. I thank my wife for her patience and support
as she entered our lives only a couple of years after the
struggle had begun. I’m grateful that Nancy and Bernice
could enjoy each other before the ravages of Alzheimer’s
dimmed that awareness. I thank my father for having the
foresight and knowledge to choose Bernice as his wife, and
knowing that she would be the best of mothers for their
children.
Most of all, I thank Mother for being a ceaseless teacher
and consistent example of how a good life is lived—from
the moment my eyes first opened until the moment her
eyes last closed. Not that I always followed her example,
but without it I would have been completely lost or lived a
much poorer life.
The Alzheimer’s journey is like living in another galaxy,
and each Alzheimer’s case is somewhat different from the
next, being its own solar system within that galaxy.
Fortunately, in our solar system the hard times were
augmented by a lot of smiles, laughter, and sparkling eyes.
Mother’s bright and joyful spirit served as the ever-
renewing....
Copyright ©2006 Heydon Buchanan. All Rights Reserved.
Men are what their mothers made them.
    —Ralph Waldo Emerson

For now, the best therapeutic tools we have for treating
Alzheimer’s disease are conscientious caregivers.
By far, the best  medication we have is love.
    —H.B.
CHAPTER 13

THE FUTURE—
ALZHEIMER’S, NURSING HOMES,
FAMILY CAREGIVING, AND ME