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Table of Contents
COMES A TIME ….......................................................................................….…. 1
The events one thinks will never happen—parental death, a disabled widow.
RETURNING HOME ….…....……................................................…...........…… 8
Changing one’s life entirely to fulfill a loving commitment.
The maternal bond in our lives.
THE LIFE WELL-LIVED……..…….....…..................................................……. 13
A special person’s life and era. How family and regional history contributed
to this story. Realizing the need to repay sacrifice.
ARRIVING — HOME IS WHERE THE HEARTS ARE (1991-1995)…........ 54
A young couple meet, fall in love, and make a good life together.
A son returns to the Heartland and begins parental caregiving.
The external problems of caregiving become evident.
FAMILIES AT THE CROSSROADS ….......................................................……100
A study of family. The very complicated matter of family dynamics with
regard to caregiving for a parent with Alzheimer’s disease.
Choosing, or not, to participate in parental caregiving.
FORGIVENESS …………………....................................................…........……132
Understanding forgiveness. The issue and importance of forgiveness for
caregiver, care recipient, and other family members.
WORST NIGHTMARE — THE CATASTROPHIC EFFECT……........……146
The need for caregiver respite. A long, dark, road trip that brought
unknown and unexpected terror to caregiver and care recipient
.
NURSING HOMES — A MODERN, SAD REALITY……….….........….…163
The mixed blessing of nursing facilities. To end one’s life in a nursing home.
NURSING HOMES — ONE, TWO, THREE .....................................................180
A study of three nursing homes. The structure of nursing homes.
A patient’s joy in going home from a nursing facility. Helping a loved
one in a facility with living tools and treats. Working with staff.
LOVE AND LAUGHTER ……...............................................…............….…… 234
Love and laughter as the most effective medications for caregivers and
care recipients. Unconditional love as gift and reward between
caregiver and care recipient.
A TIME TO DIE ……………..........................................................…..………... 254
Facing the end. The price of medical mix-ups and administrative errors.
The role of hospice care in a facility. Sharing the end.
PICKING UP THE PIECES …………........................................................……. 273
The shock of loss. Mourning. Duration of grief.
THE FUTURE — ALZHEIMER’S, NURSING HOMES,
FAMILY CAREGIVING, AND ME ........................................................................292
Lessons learned. The national fear of an AD diagnosis. The prospect of
nursing homes. The immense spiritual and financial value of family caregivers.
The beauty of old age. Moving on.
EPILOGUE ……………..................................……........……....…….....…….. 313
NOTES ……………...................…...…...……….......………….........……….. 315
ABOUT THE AUTHOR ……...........………..................…...…..…....……... 318
COMES A TIME ….......................................................................................….…. 1
The events one thinks will never happen—parental death, a disabled widow.
RETURNING HOME ….…....……................................................…...........…… 8
Changing one’s life entirely to fulfill a loving commitment.
The maternal bond in our lives.
THE LIFE WELL-LIVED……..…….....…..................................................……. 13
A special person’s life and era. How family and regional history contributed
to this story. Realizing the need to repay sacrifice.
ARRIVING — HOME IS WHERE THE HEARTS ARE (1991-1995)…........ 54
A young couple meet, fall in love, and make a good life together.
A son returns to the Heartland and begins parental caregiving.
The external problems of caregiving become evident.
FAMILIES AT THE CROSSROADS ….......................................................……100
A study of family. The very complicated matter of family dynamics with
regard to caregiving for a parent with Alzheimer’s disease.
Choosing, or not, to participate in parental caregiving.
FORGIVENESS …………………....................................................…........……132
Understanding forgiveness. The issue and importance of forgiveness for
caregiver, care recipient, and other family members.
WORST NIGHTMARE — THE CATASTROPHIC EFFECT……........……146
The need for caregiver respite. A long, dark, road trip that brought
unknown and unexpected terror to caregiver and care recipient
.
NURSING HOMES — A MODERN, SAD REALITY……….….........….…163
The mixed blessing of nursing facilities. To end one’s life in a nursing home.
NURSING HOMES — ONE, TWO, THREE .....................................................180
A study of three nursing homes. The structure of nursing homes.
A patient’s joy in going home from a nursing facility. Helping a loved
one in a facility with living tools and treats. Working with staff.
LOVE AND LAUGHTER ……...............................................…............….…… 234
Love and laughter as the most effective medications for caregivers and
care recipients. Unconditional love as gift and reward between
caregiver and care recipient.
A TIME TO DIE ……………..........................................................…..………... 254
Facing the end. The price of medical mix-ups and administrative errors.
The role of hospice care in a facility. Sharing the end.
PICKING UP THE PIECES …………........................................................……. 273
The shock of loss. Mourning. Duration of grief.
THE FUTURE — ALZHEIMER’S, NURSING HOMES,
FAMILY CAREGIVING, AND ME ........................................................................292
Lessons learned. The national fear of an AD diagnosis. The prospect of
nursing homes. The immense spiritual and financial value of family caregivers.
The beauty of old age. Moving on.
EPILOGUE ……………..................................……........……....…….....…….. 313
NOTES ……………...................…...…...……….......………….........……….. 315
ABOUT THE AUTHOR ……...........………..................…...…..…....……... 318
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Copyright ©2006 Heydon Buchanan. All Rights Reserved.
Chapter 1